I love nights. Midnights.

I didn't want to be here posting actually, but I couldn't take it. I'm just in the sort of mood where you feel like typing and typing and typing because you're frustrated, and yet don't know how to express it, or WHO to express it to. So here I am, typing nonsense stuff because of course I won't be typing the actual stuff. Heh.

It's currently raining, and current time now is 1.14am (Let's see how long I take to type this). Perfect weather for sleeping, I know I know. But I love nights. And I don't usually sleep at night, people who knows me well should know it by now. Because it's the only time I get peace and the atmosphere and everything to myself. No TV sounds, no naggings, no stupid little sounds from moving of stuff and so on. Just hearing the raindrops (well, for now at least), cool breeze blowing, and no other sound except my fingers on the keyboard.

This is half the reason why I love nights. The other half of the reason is well, I love long phone calls in the middle of the night, even though I don't say it. I really do. Because the caller is also the only person whom I will really tell my problems to. Well, mainly family-wise. I can't tell any other people, they wouldn't understand.. But not as though I'll tell them anyway. I won't. Lol!

Peace and quiet around you. Music playing softly in the background. Someone on the line to hear your bullshit and your stupid questions. To be able to sit in silence as well. Or to hear your stupid rants and hear you bitch about stuff. What more can you ask for? Those are the times where I really feel.. Blissful, I should say.

Okay, I realize I'm speaking in riddles. Hahahaha. I already said i will be typing nonsense, so yeah! Stuff which only I will understand.

On a side note, I really, really hate studying. Actually, maybe I don't, I just don't like the routine of having to force myself pick up notes or a book of something which I'm not interested in. Pretty contradicting huh. If I really hate studying I would be skipping school and working. But I didn't, so I can't really say I hate studying? I just DISLIKE studying. Lol not sure what difference that will make.

People tell me all the time "you're actually very smart" and blahblah. I beg to differ. Sounds stupid, but I think I'm more of "lucky". Yeah smart in primary school maybe, secondary and JC, hell no. It has to come from hard work, and I definitely didn't work at all :/ Moment of truth, the last time I really studied should be in primary school, before p6. Not even PSLE or O'levels. I think something is wrong with me lol

"Lack of motivation" seemed like a pretty stupid excuse, but it's true for me, I really don't feel motivated to do shit. Idk man. I'm selective I guess. I'm more of a Language person. Languages interest me, that's why throughout the 13academic years the only consistent subjects I fare ok are English and Chinese. Lol! I think I would rather take 8different languages rather than 5subjects that consist of math, chem etc.

I must be crazyyyyy. Omg so long. Okay enough bullshit, I over-typed. Gonna do a quiz and end off.

And on a random sidenote, recently has been quite shitty. I have no feelings except anger, sianness, pekcekness, annoyance, and everything negative. Argh.



01: tell me the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now?
His personality. And his mind, which never reveals what he's thinking. It interests me.

02: what on your body is hurting or bothering you?
Nothing? Okay fats maybe. Get rid of the fats!

03: what was your last thought before going to bed last night?
"Almost 6am. Omg quite cold. And why no phone call."

04: what are you listening to?
Concrete Angel - John O'Callaghan Remix

05: what’s something you’re not looking forward to?
'A' levels at the end of the year.

06: where do you think your best friend is right now?
Home? I hope

07: have you kissed anybody in the last five days?
Nope

08: favorite song ?
Zedd - Clarity (Andrew Rayel Remix)

10: is there one person you want to be with right now?
Yup

11: are you seriously happy with where you are in life?
No I am not. But I don't know how to change it.

12: is there something you would like to say to someone?
"Whatever you do sometimes may be trying to piss me off deliberately, but it won't change how I feel".

13: what are three things you did today?
I quote, "Bathe, eat, breathe". Hahaha.

14: would you rather sleep at a friend’s or have them over?
Sleep at a friend's. Definitely not have them over.

15: what is your favorite kind of gum?
We don't have gum over here. But I like all gums

17: what is on your wrists right now?
Nothing? Talking about wrists, I wish I have a new watch though

18: ever liked someone you thought you didn’t stand a chance with?
You mean now? Lol

19: does anyone have strong feelings for you?
No? I don't care anyway. Because it won't be the one I care about.

20: are you slowly drifting away from someone?
Yup

21: have you ever wasted your time on someone?
No doubt

22: can you do the alphabet in sign language?
I can't. I don't mind learning though

23: how have you felt today?
Felt like crap

24: you receive £60 without any reason, what do you spend it on?
Drinks. Or top up some money and get new shoes/watch.

25: what is wrong with you right now?
Feeling sian

26: is there anyone you’re really disappointed in?
Idk. Hmm. Maybe

27: would you rather have starbucks or jamba juice right now?
Starbucks.

29: how late did you stay up last night and why?
Around 6am. No idea, just didn't feel like sleeping.

30: when was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
Eh? Idk

31: what were you doing an hour ago?
Bathing

32: what are you looking forward to in the next month?
October? Running Man coming SG! But I don't think I can find anyone to go with me

33: are you wearing jeans right now?
Of course not.

34: are you a patient person?
See which aspect? But most of the times, no.

35: do you think you can last in a relationship for three months?
Yup

36: favorite color?
Orange, yellow. Black.

37: did you have a dream last night?
Don't think so

38: are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?
Trackpants?

39: if someone could be cuddling you right now, who would you want it to be?
For me to know, for you to find out.

40: do you love anyone who is not related to you?
Huh? What do you mean? Blood-related?

41: if someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
Of course.

42: do you like meeting new people?
I do. But sometimes feel paiseh also. Lol

43: are you afraid of falling in love?
Yeah.

44: ever self-harmed or starved yourself?
For? No

45: has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes?
When I'm young, yeah lol

46: have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough?
All the time.