Hello. It's been a long time since I posted. The above song is a song I heard when I was watching a show, and that song is nice. Cantonese.. I don't understand but tune is nice. Haha.
When was last time I posted, National Day? So much stuff happened after that. Close to end of August and Sept I think. Sigh. Don't even know how to say it or to start saying from where. Who would have thought that a game can make anyone fall out right? This is so silly and stupid.
But sometimes when someone don't treasure your friendship with them as much as you do, any small matter can make you guys fall out. Ironic how we know each other through a game yet we fall out also because of a game. I do treasure him. 4 years friend. He should be the only one who always know what I'm gonna say or when I'm upset. Little things I portray through which people don't really notice, he notice.
He notices everything. We used to be on the phone late into the night sometimes just doing our own stuff and not really talking. Comfortable silence. When we chat it's usually serious stuff. Family. Studies. Work. Some other serious topics. Especially family stuff, I don't tell that to anyone. He also tell me stuff about his family etc. He know abit too much about me and I think I know him alot stuff as well. You must be thinking, wow so close.
Yeah, precisely, so close, how did we fall out? I have no idea. Sometimes when two people's fate comes to an end, it has to end. I couldn't believe how he pick a fight with me about small little thing in the game. Like calling me arrogant for not replying fast, but I was really busy. Wouldn't listen to my explanations. I was really speechless.
In the game itself he hit me. I didn't retaliate. Not cos I'm scared but I do not want to hit someone whom I still care about. Of course he doesn't care. Happily hit and etc. I kept quiet. Then he started airing my dirty laundry in public to the game. I kept quiet. He say I was badmouthing him to his friends, I don't have the energy to argue, I kept quiet.
Deep down I feel sad. Why is he like that. Of course, why should I let him know I'm sad? He can't WAIT to make me upset. He'll laugh if he knows. I can only keep quiet. So shady about why things turn out this way, but I just kept quiet. Maybe he felt that me following instructions to hit a PS in a war (game) is wrong, but he is forgetting that so many other friends did the same. Maybe he felt that I was deliberately not replying when I was busy. Who knows. Too many misunderstandings. His character, he is as stubborn as me. Even if I explain, he will not listen.
Little things that happen in games weeks after, he just try to link it to me to "hurt" me. Mutual friends tried to mediate things between us but no use, which I expected anyway. Like i said, his stubborn character, why will he try to talk to me again after we fell out, right?
So what can I do? Nothing. This bugs me pretty much alot. But I just kept quiet.
Sigh. And work ytd I had to re-key some stuff cos system decide to make things all gone and didn't save after I do for so long on Friday. Even the system is joking with me.
Another friend, S, that I really really care about, was abit not right as well. He says work's busy. But my instinct never goes wrong. Who knows. Maybe HE is badmouthing me to S. S is a mutual friend of ours. I really care about S. Sigh. I don't know. This is much more upsetting tho.
好心没好报。你对人好不代表别人对你好。有些人对你好也只是他需要你帮忙，你从来也没有是被他当朋友过。不需要你把你踢开。从头也都是利用你。可笑的地方是，我从头就知道。我只是认为朋友之间不必计较。我关心他们也都是出于内心，我对他们好也是我的选择。也许这世上不是你对人好别人就会对你好吧。真的好累好累。。老虎不发威每当它是病猫。我应该缺乏一点人情味，也就不会被人踩。看着办吧。天天的折磨也只是最后改造了原本对人很好的人，等一天他们狠起来。。别怪他们，都是你们一手造成的。
Afternoon just spent close to two hours talking to Apple Support trying to get some stuff sorted and it's still not fixed, was so pekcek. And trying to find someone to work or go or buy ticket whatever with me on zoukout day2. Cos the lineup is my favourite. But couldn't find yet still.
And. My right side of jaws/teeth damn sore. I think wisdom tooth.. Damn it.
In conclusion nothing works out. Everything is shit. Give me a break, God. 活得好累.
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