You weren't there when i need you.

Let's just say, life isn't really going the way i want them to.
I'm tired, really.

wed, june 3
had band? it was quite okay i think. i forgot.

thurs, june 4
went back school in the morning. -.- for amath 1on1. lol. sian.
i had a hard time finding the teacher. it's like, nowhere in sight?!
turned out the lesson started 30min later than it was supposed to.
nevermind. and sad to say im not working upsidedown so yeah.
and i find that talking to kelvinho is really a chore. -.- he's -undescribable- la.
he started arguing with me about the Anegls&Demons's plot for dk what reason.
also not i write the book one right? lol. then he start quarrelling&arguing with me.
say what, the movie too good to be true. then what why the parachute open.
okay. im seriously going to get a headache if that continues.

fri, june 5
Ich fühlen dermaßen entwässert.
band. had 45min sectionals. the two ah.. really no words describe. sigh.
why do people always get the idea im joking when im being serious? -.- seriously.
i fear one day i'll just flare up at alphonsus&yonghan. call them sustain.
they make stupid noises. ok nevermind. i tell them stop it they make even louder.
zzz, sian. i got high tolerance man. i managed to refrain from getting pekchek.
then later had like 2hours of drills. 50pumpings in the morning-going-afternoon sun.
lol. the CO people upstairs were all looking at us. i bet they think we're crazy. hah.
then had drills with the NCC people. learnt new stuff. and i got damn messed up.
before lunch. 7pumping again. then band. during junior band yeenah went home.
get well soon. then later throughout after that. im left alone with alphonsus&yonghan.
-.- pretty tiring. they damn random la. awhile talk about maple, awhile about others.
full band. even more tiring. haha. one person only, sianz. they two sit there and suan me.
or just sleep. lol, super lame la! gah. but ohoh, dickson came back. hahaha.
he started playing around with the euphos. then he sat and talked to me&yonghan.
alphonsus came in, got so excited, and jumped on dickson. LOL. damn funny.
make until his specs drop. hahaha. then he went "OI" super loudly. me&yonghan laughin.
then alphonsus keep going "sorry HUANG di" dunno how many times.
he meant that dickson's the emperor la. but i purposely hear wrong. HUANG di.
especially when dickson's wearing yellow. HUANG. lol. okay, random. but anyway.
overall was quite tiring. rather drained. hmm.

sat, june6
nothing much la. im just feeling very tired nowadays. dont really know how to say why.
was looking at some archives. memories really come back. nehmind. it's not the point.
the point now is that i think my mind has gone haywire, lol. i go crazy one day ah.


YOU. hey, things are hard for you, it's the same case for me alright? im not blaming anything, but try to understand, will you? it's not as if im like so damn carefree with nothing to worry about k. im too good at acting out on the surface? maybe. i dont show out my problems that doesn't mean im without troubles. people dont go around announcing their problems one right. we're drifting apart? maybe we are. i've already been very patient. touch your conscience and ask yourself. have you really done that? look, im not trying to pick faults, you always get the wrong ideas. all i ask, is: please, try to understand situations.

YOU ALL. i dont know what exactly to say to you all. now i know how hard isit to handle all these, hmm, small problems that is hard to complain to anyone about. hah. seriously. i've no one to go to, no one to confide to. what to do with all these light treatment on serious matters? what to say when they just totally disregard you? how to face when everything is just going the wrong way? it seemed stupid to be whining about things when everything had just started huh, but if things are really gonna get worser, i'm really afraid i'll snap one day.

YOU. what happened to you? you better don't become all strange and quiet, my only means of person to complain all kind of shit to. i feel alright in confiding to u, surprisingly O: although you might not get it sometimes or you dont even know that's what i've been trying to get it off my mind but hadnt been able to since i cant find anyone to say to. i really feel better after saying things out. if u become strange, and that's it, everything die. seriously, i want to talk! lol. too bad. now i can only hope that things hadn't change.

nehz. i think no difference was made. my mind is still as crazy as ever, lol.
randomly going through youtube now. Leave out all the rest by Linkin Park is nice.
hahahaha, random shit. it's like, hmm, 1201am now. i blogged really slowly. lol.
ich bin müde, but i dont think i can sleep. zz. end off.



"And i asked myself, why are people making things hard for me. Was it because i brought everything to myself and that i was making things hard for myself in the beginning, or because they just don't understand? I've got an idea it's the latter."